Friday 28 January 2011

Stressed much??

After the week i have had i was hoping for a little bit of non stress time, even just a few days, but nope, work hasn't been too stressful just the usual drama over the fact that i have been allowed to do a higher roll for a few days while June isn't there (June sorts out break times and checks on everyone when we go in) when its normally another girl called Ewa that does it. No where in our contract does it say that just because you have stood in for someone before that you have a free pass to do it all the time, i just asked if i could do it on Fridays as it is overtime and June doesn't do overtime, i never said that i am doing it just so Ewa cant do it. She came in on Friday dressed up like to say i am boss i don't have to dress like you as i am doing Junes job, but then she found out she wasn't and i was. She had a face like thunder and gave me some proper attitude too (i am 23 she is like 30 so she should be a little bit more grown up than me. I also had to do this job again on Wednesday as June was not in again. I was told yesterday that i got a lot of good feedback about how good i did and people liked what i did and did i want to do it again on Friday, i just said if they want me to i will but if they had someone else in mind i didn't mind, which i don't, i go there knowing i have to do a job which ever job that is i am still there for 5 and half hours so we will see what i am doing today.

On top of work i still haven't heard from my MOH, i haven't seen her since September, i have messaged her loads of times and on facebook too but have heard nothing, it hasn't all been about weddings either i asked her if she and her boyfriend was up for go ape around Easter time but didn't hear anything. It really is starting to upset me a little because she was really excited and i had allowed her to be escorted by her own boyfriend. I wasn't making her buy her own dress or his suit i was getting it all so i don't understand. i have already started getting a few things like shoes and so if she doesn't get in touch i have a pair of shoes but no MOH. I don't think it is just a matter of picking someone else to do the job. I drifted away from a lot of my friends when i left school and being just one of 6 in our college class i am not ashamed to say i don't have many friends, but i don't have anyone really who can stand in for her, not just as my MOH but someone i can talk to about my fertility situation, she knew about the infertility and asked me to keep her updated but i have tried since finding out we will have to go for IVF but she hasn't got back to me so she doesn't know that and so she doesn't know we also god rejected either. I really don't know what to do. The wedding is already going to be more male dominant anyway by there being the groom, best man, my dad, my brother, my FFIL and my MOH's boyfriend if she comes compared to there being me, my brothers girlfriend and then my MOH if i had one, and even though my mom is my best friend she isn't one to want to be seen so she wouldn't really be counted as one of my ladies.

For someone who should be making their life as stress free as possible I'm not doing a very good job of it.

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