a little something i stole from a blog i am following

well i know her wedding is in like a month and mine is so far away but i thought i would find out how long it is until my wedding in months days hours, minutes and seconds... are we ready....

years: 2 years, 4 months, 23 days.

months: 28 months.

days: 876.

hours: 21,024.

minutes: 1,261,440.

seconds: 76,686,400

that was so fun lol.

shopping!!!!

Me and my MoH went out trying on dresses on saturday and first we headed to the bride shop in kingswinford where they had my dress in a 14 which they put me in, thats the first time amy saw me in the dress and she was amazed, then she was dresses in a few dresses, even though they picked them and i felt like they were saying what would look right and not what i liked, so she tried on 3 and the only one that looked nice was the green one (see below for all the pictures). once in the dresses they picked a tiara and a veil and that was when i really believed this is going to happen. after that we went to merry hill brides where we were aloud to take our time to pick through all the bridesmaid dresses and try on more than three, actually i think we tried on about 10 lol as we went along the rack there were so many that would look so good i wanted one, but after trying on there was one that stuck out, it looked very elegant and sophisticated it wasnt like the obvious bridesmaid dress but it was so nice. so after she got back in that dress i was put in my dress and looked at the different veils i could go for and picked a really prety one and we had a picture taken together but when the girl in the shop walked out i checked the price tag and the first thing i noticed as i pulled it out the dress was that i was in a size 12!!!!!!! i was always told that the bride gowns run small and even in normal clothes i havnt been a size 12 in years. i couldnt believe it, when the girl came in she even said that the dress still hade some give to it so it could have been pulled a little tighter, wow. but there is one problem, the bridesmaid dress is a fish tail and if emma is a bridesmaid it may not work with her shape as amy is normally in a 12 to a 14 and she had to wear a 16 so they are quite tight and they are £165 each and then alterations, i will have to have a look to see if i can get them cheaper somewhere, but the biggest problem was at merry hill brides my dress is £905 and then add on to that alterations, it is alot of money so i would probably get my dress from kingswinford shop at £725 as with alterations i cant see it costing as much as £905.

the top 2 pictures are of me and amy fron on with amy in the green 2 piece dress that did look pretty.

the next 2 pictures are of the back of the dresses and the train of my dress, which i didnt think was so big but i like it.

this is my favourite picture as i am loving the dress amy is in this is the one that i would like them to be in or at least the same sort of style, and my dress where i have a tiny waist in the size 12 dress, shame my arms wernt as small.

well here is a bit of not quite so wedding news, it will affect the wedding but not a whole lot unless something comes along. (you will understand that comment soon)

well i should give you the back ground first as you may not understand where i am coming from.

i have got a very severe form of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and due to this i do hold onto alot of weight, sometimes its like i only have to think of food and i will gain weight, then there is the hair, i have alot of excess hair, and the main thing is i dont have a propper cycle. i was sent to a specialist to see what could be done, their suggestion was going to a weight management clinic, which i did for a year and a half and lost 10% of my body weight, then i got refered to the specialist, during the weight loss they sent me for tests to check to see if the weight loss was helping me ovulate, i found out i wasnt, so last week i went back to the specialist and he mentioned about metformin, which helps with insulin resistance that is stopping me from losing the excess weight, he said i should have been offered it when i started weight manage ment but i wasnt, the only time i found out about it was when i got frustrated with trying to lose weight and finding it so had it was like i would lose a pound but put 2 back on, so the dr said they have to ask my gp to prescribe the pills but to go in about 3 weeks to see her, then i have to have a scan on my falopian tubes just incase they are blocked or if there is anything else wrong, and they will check daves 'sample' to see if everything is ok his end. the specialist also said that when i am on these pills they can look into fertility treatment straight away, but i said that we wanted to try by just on these pills first until the wedding, as the pills should fix the insulin resistance and regulate my cycle and make me ovulate then if i do become pregnant it would be natural, if this does happen before the wedding then we would deal with it, what i would like to do is in the 10 months before the wedding try not to get pregnant as this wouldnt be a little bit of a problem as i wouldnt be able to be in my dress. realistically i would like for it to happen after the wedding but i would also love to have one sooner as we have gone through so much with my problems that we have built up to the fact that it could happen at any time, so if i do get pregnant it the latest i would like to have given birth by the may or june of 2012 so i will have gotten over the birth and the baby will not need to be attatched to my breast half way through the service, lol.

another shopping trip

on saturday me and my MOH are going shopping to find some more dresses and we remembered to make appointments this time, i was going to invite emma as she will need a dress to but at the sametime i was thinking, thomas and emma were surposed to be moving away for her to go to uni so i feel like i cant really count on them so i dont really know what to do, do i just have amy or do i keep it open to emma and just wait for a while?? well any way me and amy are going shopping and she is bringing allong her friend deb who she used to bring into college so it should be fun, we got an appointment at the bride shop in kingswinford at 10 then one at merry hill brides at 12.30 so between those we can go to the pub or something, this will be the first time amy will see me in my dress so i hope she likes it, then we have to find dresses that work for her, i told her the other day about the site where you can design your own dresses and she thought that was great so she would be playing on there for a while.

saturday is going to be a busy day as amy has to pick me up on the morning then head to the stores then i have to go to daves then head to my house before we head out for a meal for my moms birthday, which is today. Happy Birthday!!!!!

so called families

so there may be a mention of the wedding in this but most of it wont be..

well a feel ashamed to say that i have some people in my family, i had a brother who had this girlfriend that is the size of a whale and everyone seems to think the sun shines out of her backside, when their last kid was born she was born with a mop of black hair so i asked if i could send the picture off to the magazine in the baby bad hair days section and i got the go ahead, but it took a while for them to put it in the mag, then when it got put in there they said i shouldnt have put it in there without permission, can you say deaf or what. they always make it sould like i am doing something wrong just because i told everyone that she faked at least one of her 'misscarages' and she didnt like it, can you blame me, having to carry that around with me i was feeling like crap that my brother believed that he had list future kids, i dont care how she wanted to deal with it and if my brother dosnt want to believe me then he will have a rude awakening when he finally puts it wll together and realises that i was right all along.

then there was my older sister who says i only cause trouble so that i can have my mom all to myself, when they abandoned my mom in the first place, she was always a trouble maker even when she was younger, she used to have her lunch at home then go to her friends and tell her parents that she wasnt fed, then she rang the social services that my mom hit her, and she put herself in care just so that she could get the benefits, and how screwed up is that, then she borrowed money from my grandad then not pay him back, then had the nerve to write him a letter claiming she had no money and had nothing and more or less saying she was bankrupt, but my grandad wasnt that stupid to just give her money and showed us the letter, well later that year i was having a bbq and she turned up and there was no happy birthday or nothing just bragging that her new girlfriend had bought her there expensive jeans and tops and stuff, then dave had to leave so when i let him out and went to the toilet i could hear her slagging him off because he didnt pay her no attention, like the day was all about her, here is a little tip it wasnt, well i packed up all the food and put it in a bag and walked out, i hung around down the road at the bus stop for a bit until i could see that she was about to leave so i headed back and she was saying that i was nothing but a spoiled little brat, so i shouted infront of her new girlfriend that i may be a spoiled brat but at least i dont write letters to my grandad asking for money after i havnt paid back the first lot, and she just sped off in her car, i didnt see her for a few years then she messaged me on facebook about getting involved in things that didnt involve me, but she was saying this about a situation that didnt involve her, pot kettle black.....and all she could say is we have never been the same to her as we are to the rest because she is gay, well if that was the case why was it me who gave her my bed when she had no where to go, it always seem to be if something is not going her way she says its because she is gay, i just wait how long it is for her to use that line....

then there was my other sister, who says i was a slag because of personal reasons but she was the one who ws going out with a guy in his 30's when she was 15 and got diseases, then decided to get back at him by getting together with his friend and getting pregnant within like a month just to get back at him, and im the slag. then she left that guy and even told my brother and his girlfriend that she did it because he believed i was seeing him behind her back....i was with dave at this point and i would never have touched any guy that she had been with, im not saying he wasnt a decent guy but after being with her and her diseases i woulodnt go anywhere near them, so after him she set herself up on a dating website, and almost every week she was seeing someone new, and who was left looking after her kid, suprise suprise, the one day she said she was going shopping for the kids birthday so could i watch her, i said i had an interview so could she be back in time but she wasnt so i had to take her to the shopping centre to meet her and have a guess what, she wasnt shopping she was meeting another guy and i was left with the kid so i told her to take her as i was going to my interview, shows what kind of parent she is dont it, then she finally met a guy she wanted to stay with, who drang all day, was surposed to be getting money for being dissabled when really he was just lazy and drank and smoked weed, then they had a fight and i went to say for the nite, and she had to ring the police and told them he was looking at little girls and he hit her and it was infront of her kid, so from that day, me my mom and dad helped her move out her flat and into my brothers house, we were even there all day on xmas eve and as soon as she was moved out she didnt want anything to do with us, and guess what she took him back and denied that he hit her or that she said he looked at girls, and this is the person she leaves her kid with, then she told my brother that she was never letting her kid see me or my mom again, but when i txt her she said she was being a family and she never said anything, then to make it even worse she came up 2 xmases ago saying that the kid misses us she came up the one week on her own then the next with the kid, they got their xmas presents and u know what, we havnt seen them since, and they are saying that i made this happen, i cant see how it is my fault.

so all in all i am surposed to have 2 brothers and 2 sisters but realistically i have one brother, and i am surposed to have 5 nieces but as i havnt seen them in years i dont have any and i know it may sound a little mean but even if they come around i am not getting emotionally attatched anymore, they are not on my friends list on facebook but still read it, and then moan when they read something they dont want to hear, then they say they are getting on with their life, if they were they wouldnt be reading my facebook, she even called me a prostitute on facebook yesterday just because i joined a group saying under 18's should be banned from there because her kid and one of my brothers kids is on there and they aint even teens yet, what is the need, i said that if they get taken off or hurt its only going to be their fault for letting them on there in the first place. the only person i feel sorry for is my mom because all of them are saying that my mom is siding with me on everything i have said but the never asked my mom if she feels the same way they just assume because i still live at home and me and my mom are so close that i have like brain washed her or something, the main reason i spend so much time with my mom is that she is my best friend and we work together, my mom never said that any of them couldnt come round anymore or anything, so when they say that i have pushed everyone away just to have her all to myself, really it is them that want my mom to choose me or them ....

well rant over for now....i have this countdown on my desktop and i have 890 days till i get married, sometimes it feels so long but being able to see it drop another day feels really good.

my DIY projects

i have always wanted to do as much DIY for the wedding as possible, partly because i enjoy it but also i have never been comfortable with telling someone if they did something wrong so if i got someone else to make, say, my invites if they ended up being wrong i would just settle for it. I have a real problem with OCD i like to know whats going on and when things are going to happen other wise i get paranoid that something is going to go wrong, its not just with wedding related projects i do it all the time, like if someone says we are going somewhere like for my birthday but wont tell me i start to panic.

well my first project was favour boxes, me and my mom went to hobby craft to see what we could find for inspiration and we found these little templates for favour boxes and they were on sale so we picked up 2 different ones, one in a little clutch bag and the other with a takeaway style box, i didnt really like the bag one when we made it but the takeaway box looked quite nice so i made one in purple and attatched a tag (which is on the large size). i am going to make these in a

purple card and maybe even a cream card and have them alternate on the table, im also going to attach a die-cut butterfly to the upper corner of one of the faces. i was putting the tag on tob as i wanted these to be used as favour boxes and place cards, but i think i am going to have these more in the middle of the table and make seperate place cards.

Then i went on to making invitations, i decided i wanted a gate fold card with a pocket on the back for the RSVP card, so i got some white black and putple card and made some gate folds then raided my moms craft boxes where i found some really pretty coloured card with silver leaf and vines on it, i thought they looked great with some ribbon round it, but there is always a problem or 2. first problem, the coloured card with silver on them i cannot find them in single colour anywhere you have to buy a pack which includes like pink and green and red and blue which is just going to be wasted and have would buy numerous packs to be able to have enough for the front and back of the card, i was a bit down with this fact because i was quite proud of my design. the second problem was when i was going to make another gate fold card it wouldnt work, no matter how many times i tried i just couldnt get the front parts to meet.

So yesterday i tried a different design of a folded card but i didnt have the right colour card to make it with so i used white card and used some pink pastel chalks to make it cloudy, i got the design from project wedding, and it worked out quite well, you may see that there is a little heart in each corner of the front flap which i embossed using my moms embossing board. i made an internal pouch for the RSVP and i will be matting and layering the inserts to give it some dimention.

On my moms embossing board there is a butterfly then i copied and made a smaller one on purple card, then i used a glue pen and purple glitter to make the edges look pretty, i did want to make some of these in a thin paper so thst i can have them trailing up the wall i am noth sure though.

my 4 year anniversary

this sunday is the 11th april, well 4 years ago on this date i was going on my first date with dave, i cannot believe the way time can play tricks on you sometimes, like some times i feel like it was only yesterday that i got let down my some friends and my knight in shinning armour came to save me and 4 years on here we are planning out wedding, but at the same time i sometimes feel like i have known dave and been in this relationship for so many more years, it feels so natural and so normal to me that its wierd.

well for a while i have been looking though different wedding mags and different websites and there was something that i never knew was that you are surposed to give each other suprises for the wedding.

CAUTION!!!!!!! DAVID IF YOU ARE READING THIS STOP NOW!!!!! YOU DONT LIKE ME FINDING OUT MY SURPRISES SO PLEASE GIVE ME THIS ONE AND STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

right now he SHOULD be gone i will carry on.

i was surposed to make or get a groom cake, well as soon as i knew this my mind was 'a turnin' well i first thought what are daves favourite things???? well he does go to the local games workshop like everyweek for worhammer so i thought i could do something around that like making the little men in icing and making the terrain from cake and the broken buildings from card covered in icing but then i thought there was way too much detail that would have to go in to it so then i though i was going to make his groom cake in the sape of his x-box, it is a pretty simple shape and colour and i will make a rectangle cookie and put a square of icing on it and draw the cover to the halo game on it and if i can try to make the control too i found a picture online and thought it shouldnt be too hard to do it should be fun so here is what i was thinking just not with the game on top

a little rant is always good

well where do i start.... i wish i had a plane ticket to america right about now, i read some amazingly inspiring blogs on here and all but one are in the US and i think most of them have gotten their diy bits and pieces from michaels where they get the most amazing invitations that you just have to print onto for quite cheap but guess what, we dont have that over here, true there are a few places that you can get thing like that from but they are no where near as cheap as over there, i looked on ebay and on the different sites and just cannot get anything shipped over here....GGGGRRRRRRR.... well i have about 7 samples of invites that i have made so far all in the same style but with different types of paper and card, and the one that me, the H2B, my mom and my MOH thought was really pretty turns out i cannot get the same card in bulk in the one colour you have to buy it in packs with like 5 different colours so i would have a lot of wasted card, so i decided yesterday that i was going to try another design but no matter how many times i tried do you think i could get the gate fold to work.........NO.....its the same card stock i have used for 5 of the 7 other cards i have made and i was using the same score likes on the pink 'thing' my mom has but it just wouldnt work, i dont know what to do. i am going to have to have a day of crafting and i may actually find something that i can do like 50 times over and not suddenly after 15 decide it dosnt want to go right lol.

oh rant over...lol...

my church and hotel

i know i have written about the church and hotel in previous posts but i havnt been able to get pictures of them as everytime i go i either dont take a camera or i forget so i decided to google them and use those pictures.

so here is the church i will be getting married in, it is st marks and it has just had thousands of pounds spent to overhaul it including underfloor heating, how cool is that lol

and here is the hotel that we will be having out reception, the picture of the room seems to have been taken from the middle of the room so looks a tad bit small but there will be more than 4 tables and when there is decorations up and lighting it will all look a whole lot different.

more random stuff

well me and dave went shopping the other day for some things and we went into primark to get some shirts for work so while he was trying them on i noticed a rack with ties and cufflinks so as dave was taking like forever just to try on 3 shirts i had a look and found these really cute cufflinks in lilac and silver and some other with different shades of purple so i showed dave when he finally came out and he wasnt too keen on the ones with the different shades of purple but quite liked the lilac ones so i looked and they were the best bargain we have ever seen at....ready for it......£1 each......WOW.....so i looked at how many there were 7 sets but we only needed 6 but you know what we bought all 7 just incase lol

the photo isnt very clear but i didnt have my camera to hand when i remembered to take a picture before i put them away so i used my phone and as it is not a camera phone it is a little bit pixelly but you can see the colour a bit.

then we realised that most of the things we have are very random, partly because we are alittle early to be hiring suits so i have a big box in my room filled with smelly candles, tealight holders, bowls and now the cufflinks...lol.... very random..