This is the end of the line.

This is the end of the line. It has taken me a few weeks to admit but we were not working. I dont expect everyone to understand but i am moving on and i have never been this happy in a long time. So thanks for reading along and you never know i may be back sometime with the next chapter.

so touching

I just had to post this link, someone put it on facebook and i cried, i couldnt believe it. Take a look....

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1355014174247

teary time

As i think everyone on the planet knows that yesterday was the royal wedding and i have to say i was looking forward to it for quite some time. Mostly because i wanted to see the dress but i also wanted to see the look on williams face when he saw kate, that was a priceless moment. I do love the dress so much, it was spectacular (i wish i was able to get away with a dress like that) but i had vissions of her wearing something more like what her sister was wearing just with a longer train to show off her amazing figure, but she looked so beautiful i dont think the dress would really change much for her.

There was just a few things about the wedding that got to me and made me unable to watch it all. I managed to see up until he had given her her ring but i had to excuse myself to the bathroom, i got so upset that its going to be even longer until i am in that position, not that i will be marrying a prince of england or having people from all over the world and celebrities to my wedding but to me my little wedding would still have made me feel like a princess. Not knowing when our wedding will be is really getting to me. Maybe if money was no problem then i dont thing i would have so much stress and i could set another date but with all of our problems that need to be resolved are mostly issues that involve money which really doesnt help.

Another excuse i had to leave watching the wedding is Mimi had to go to the vets during the wedding (we got back as they were coming out of the church). With cavaliers they have a common problem with their knees, well i have noticed that Mimi walks with her legs straight sometimes and it has gotten significantly more frequant so i was keeping an eye on her and i saw her knees wobble as she walked away from me, at the vets they confirmed what i thought, she has luxating patella on her back right leg and maybe on her back left, she is booked in for a consult with the ortho on friday and to have sedation and xrays. I got a little upset as she is still just a puppy (10 months) but they said it is better to get it sorted sooner rather than later. If the ortho thinks it is serious she may need surgery which seems like a big step. I am just hoping its not going to cost too much as there are limits to her insurance and just the consult, sedation and xrays are going to cost just under £160 which is quite expensive but i have seen somebodies quote for surgery and that was £1200. I will keep you updated with what happens.

Little bit of a change in the big day

Well there is still going to be a big day just not of the wedding variety (well for a little while anyways). Let me explain.

Next year me and Dave turn 25 (no not on the same day and we are not some backwards inbread incestuous twins either). Daves birthday is in march and mine is in september so last night we decided there was need for some fun next year so we decided we would have a big joint 25th birthday party, even better it will be fancy dress. As i have posted before i love dressing up, i do it for christmas at work, for charity fun runs give me an excuse and i will dress for it. So we decided that we will maybe have it around june or july which is in the middle so i will be having a premature quarter of a century party. I was in a little world of my own after we decided as to what i would dres up as and here were some of my choices and the reasons.

Pirate.

I always wanted a pirate party, i just think it would be so fun and i would get to burn invitations and things like that and make treasure maps for directions, but i dont think everyone would be all for that and so either wouldnt come or they wouldnt dress up.

Rocky horror.

I love the rocky horror picture show, i have watched it so many times and i even have the glee special soundtrack too, yes i am a gleek but who can blame me right? well i thought i could be Janet for the first half then change into something a little more racy later but then i thought. I really dont want to see the likes of my dad, brother and some friends in not much more than underwear, the thought makes me a little bit on the ill side so thats not really a good idea.

Jessica Rabbit.

I loved the way she looked with her red dress, long legs and red hair, she was what a real woman would look like to me, she had amazing curves. I dont think i have a reason not to go for this option apart from i dont want to wear a wig but im also not sure if i want to dye my hair red either.

Pageant queen.

I never got to have a prom in school but always wanted to wear an amazing gown, other than a wedding dress obviously, but i never got to wear one so i thought if i got a gown, sash and a crown i could go as a pageant queen. Only thing is the price of the gown, sash and crown.

Avatar (navi).

Since i found out about this movie i loved the look of the navi, one problem i just dont have the body shape to walk around in a skin tight blue suit, if i ever got that small this would be my first choice but i dont think i could pull it off.

I will re post when i think of something else.

Its on hold

That's right we have had to put the wedding on hold. We don't know how long for but we had taken on way too much and i ended up breaking down. I am not in a stable position to deal with this right now, it is still the one thing i want but it cant happen just yet, not when this is something we have control over and that we don't really have to do but other things in our lives right now we cant control and that need to take priority. I am quite upset that we have to do this but we cant see a way of dealing with it all at once, i feel like i have to be wonder woman sometimes to deal with it but i just don't have the powers. It was hard but we both had to take a long hard look at our lives and we had a hard decision to make as we will lose a lot in deposits but we know that we probably wouldn't even make it to the wedding if we pushed ourselves anymore we would either end up in a mental institute or something worse. There are a few things we need to sort out but they are major things and they cant be ignored, they may bring us closer but if they don't get sorted i fear they will push us apart.

chair covers

I have been a little bit reluctant to post anything about the wedding lately as once i had found what i thought was a great deal it either fell through or there were catches but we finally have chair covers, well we don't have them as such but i sent off the cheque for them today, they are £1.95 per chair and that includes a sash so we ordered 85 of those then we have to add one a £50 deposit that will also play as a security deposit so we will get that back 2 weeks after the wedding if everything is all in order. so in the last month i have written cheques of over £230 just on deposits which does feel a bit sickening but i suppose it has to be done.

So we have the following off the top of my head there are probably a few things i have forgotten:
Church
Hotel
Photographer
Chair covers
My dress
My shoes
My tiara
Bridesmaids shoes
Cuff links
Stationary stock
1/3 of the jars/vases/bowls for candies
Hundreds of candles
Items for centre pieces
Some decorations e.g bows
Dj for reception
Cake

I know there has to be something i have forgot but it is past 1am so i cant really be blamed can i.

Im so stressed

I really don't know what to do.....I am having all these problems at work and i really don't need the stress right now.

I have wrote about someone called Ewa before well, i was at work on Monday and she waited till about 10 minutes before we finished work to come over and corner me and ask if i had a mental problem, i had no idea what she was talking about but i found this very insulting because i have suffered with manic depression since i was in school, so i don't respect someone asking that. Anyway then she went on telling me i should stop talking about her on facebook because people are laughing at her....i had no idea what she was talking about again, yes i put something on facebook at the time she was talking about but i cant help the fact that she thinks the world revolves around her and that maybe this status wasn't about her, i dont get why people think they can use my personal facebook page as ammunition at work? So i just said it wasn't like she doesn't talk about me or anyone else to her friends but in her own language, to which she said yes she does and we are all women so what do i expect.......erm am i the only one who wants to know why its ok for people to talk about others because we are women but if i did say anything about her why she has a problem with it. Then she went to swear at me but stopped and said she wasn't going to say it because she was not like my mom (my mom swore in front of one of her friends when they had moved her work back just before Christmas) then i said she was exactly the same because she went to say it, then she proceeded to tell me to f**k off numerous times while waffling on about me growing up and stop causing trouble, when i got a word in a told her that she was in the wrong because she came to my work area and left hers just to have a go and intimidate my by standing over me while saying all this and just reading into things that wernt about her. She must have been looking for something to pin on me because she would have read the status then had to click to read more comments from what she told me she had read. As we had words before why would she feel the need to search my page and statuses for unless she was waiting for something to have a rant about. I will put a copy of the conversation between me and my friend that was on facebook so that you can see nowhere are there any names. I got worked up after she walked away when other people started turning up for the night shift so when i was ready to leave i told her if she had a problem with something outside of work then tell me outside of work, to which she flew off again saying i am the one with the problem and i should grow up, i sad she was the one who needed to grow up and how old is she, all she could say was how old am i?..... Well i am 24 this year she is 30 i think 6 years is a lot of time to mature to her standards and her sophistication (not that i would want to if that's how you act). In the end all i could think was she did it at the end of work hoping she could just go home and i would drop it and hoping the head of shift would have already left. I personally think she has some sort of attention disorder like she has to make sure everything is about her even if its not. Not long ago i woke up to people asking if i was ok i didn't under stand but when i went onto facebook i understand why, someone had set up a fake facebook page with my name and commented on every single picture that i was in with the word 'fake' now i have like 400 pictures with me in on there and every time they commented i got an email, looking at the times of the emails it took them about an hour and half and finished about 1:30 in the morning, don't that sound a little bit suspicious as the same week our clock-in cards were being moved. I told all of this to the head of shift nick and he said not to take it further as he will sort it and has it....no it got worse obviously when she was looming over me with her rant. So i rang ACAS who are like a union and told them the situation and what i should do about it, the lady said that it sounded like serious intimidation and should be taken higher which would be to write an official grievance letter to the manager saying what happened and to request a meeting to see how this is going to be solved. which i did. Nick wasn't pleased and didn't speak to me at all last night after he found out i had gone higher than him and gone to Geoff, but what does he expect when he was going round saying he would tell them but did nothing and then last night my mom herd him talking to other people about it. I was supposed to have a meeting today before work but i got a phone call saying the owners were thankful with the way i had dealt with things so far and they would do everything official so i should be getting a letter maybe today to say when the meeting is, i was also told the Ewa was not told about any of this so if i do get any comments from her i know who has told her. I am also allowed someone in the meeting with me so i asked June if she will come with me but it depends when it is now as i don't want to drag her down if it is out of work hours, she knows that i need the fertility treatment and is always asking how i am coping and am i dealing with the stresses so she knows what I'm going through. I have been pushed around way too much in my life and I'm not going to just push it away anymore. The only thing i am really bothered about is when ever one of the polish get told off for anything they pull the racist card, that would hurt me so much because i am the most un racist person in the world, i went to a primary school and secondary school when white English kids were the minority and so i have been bought up to see that as normal, one of my best friends in primary school was a refugee from Albania so how can i be racist???

This is what was put on facebook, where does that say anything spacific to a person? where is her name?

Amy Whittaker



At what age is it inappropriate to look like an over grown toddler???? I think someone missed the memo lol
25 March at 17:47 via Android · Friends only ·LikeUnlike · · View feedback (8)Hide feedback (8).
Hayley Smith and Kimberley Meekcom like this..


Adele Cashmore Funniest status I've read in a while!
25 March at 21:52 · LikeUnlike.

Amy Whittaker Its even funnier if you could see the person its about all i will say is a headband ok but a bow???? And they are like 30 lol
25 March at 22:08 · LikeUnlike.

Adele Cashmore When you mentioned toddler I had the image of a 30 year old woman in a baby grow or something similar!
25 March at 22:09 · LikeUnlike.

Amy Whittaker Not quite but i wouldnt put it past this person to wear something just as bad like a ribbon in their hair with dungrees (cant spell it sorry lol)
25 March at 22:15 · LikeUnlike.

Adele Cashmore This person sounds like a sight to be seen!
25 March at 22:18 · LikeUnlike.

Amy Whittaker She sure is
25 March at 22:22 · LikeUnlike
Any way i could really do with some chill out time. I cant wait for the Easter holidays!!!!!!

I missed it :'(

I was just looking back at some of my posts and i cant believe i missed my blogaversary......i posted my first post on the 18th march 2010, it doesn't seem like i have been waffling on that long, lol.

Oh well my blog is now 1 year and 3 days old....

cheque...check

I mailed the check to the photographer last Monday and he rang on Friday i think it was saying he got the cheque and would be sorting out the paperwork, so now we really do have a photographer. Then my brother went on a little kiddy tantrum that he wasn't coming to the wedding because he cant take pictures, i said he can take pictures but if he is one of the groomsmen he is supposed to be down front with the rest of us and he is going to be n the pictures so wont the pictures look a little bit stupid with him standing there taking pictures too?? i never got another answer from him about that. I was saying to my mom, i don't have a problem with him taking pictures but if he does then he will have to step down from being groomsman and sit in the congregation like everyone else and if its like some churches they only allow the official photographer to mill around taking the pictures and even then they have rules, its like the best man has a professional video camera which we can use but he knows he wont be using it so he is going to show his brother how to do it in advance so he can be there to do that so my photos don't have my best man stood behind a camera.

Another good thing about our photographer is he has shot at our venues, that's all of them, the church himley hall and the hotel so he knows the best places to be, some great shots that can be had and some good set up shots too which is great, we got to see some of the pictures from himley hall as that was in one of the preview albums he was showing us. We also asked all the questions about copy write too and we get printable rights. This means we can go else where and get prints, books, canvases, anything we want, the only thing we cannot do is sell the pictures, but i don't see why i would be selling the pictures anyway. As we picked the cd package we get 2 cds, one with colour photos and one with black and white, all which have been 'fixed' if needed. We also get a proof folder so we can look through them all and even if we want to go back at a later date and order prints or albums we can.

Love it magazine

I love 'love it' magazine, i get it almost every week and there is always something in there that shocks me. But while i was looking through last week i thought im gonna send a picture of my puppy in to them just for the sake of it, so i went on the website and while looking i found this section where you can apply to try a diet from them, they supply everything and i can be in the mag. i thought why not reply i never get picked for anything right.....wrong....i had a girl from the magazine ring me today asking if i was up for it and i said yea so she will get back to me with more details, wow, i normally never like to really show myself or 'air my dirt laundry' as some may say but, i am so desperate at the moment to lose the weight i am willing to try anything, i finished weight watchers just 3 lbs less than when i started, i felt so ashamed, but for me i always felt like i was eating way to much while on it, like i eat a lot of fruit and veg anyway but as they are no points they dont cound then i was allowed 33 daily points then my weekly 49 and i was using no where near that unless we were going out for something like pizza and they were saying i should be sticking to my points but that was a lot of food for me, especially when i was under the nutritionalist before and they said as long as i was not feeling weak or like i was going to faint and i had enough energy i could manage on one meal a day, and that was from the hospital so from going from that where i managed to lose a lot of weight before to having to eat so much with weight watchers i couldnt put my finger on why i wasnt losing the weight. They also kept talking about how things like hormones and thyroid problems have nothing to do with weight, well that really bothered me because i have already done my research and hormones do play a major roll and this is a reason why someone with PCOS like me has problems losing weight but they wouldnt see that, just the weight watchers formula and it works there is proof, but i just wanted to scream and say please live my life work my work deal with my stresses and then deal with the hormonal imbalance and show me how easy it is to lose weight because im not playing around, i need to lose this weight if i have any chance at a family and even just for that reason only i would try anything but i know starving myself will do more harm than good.

How can i win?????

We have a photographer

Yes that is right...well when i send this cheque and booking form back to the guy that is.....

We had a meeting with a guy me and my mom met at a wedding fayre at the hotel we are having and i thought there was just something about him that made me like him, he had over 30 years experience, 100's of weddings under his belt and not only is he a wedding photographer he is a general professional photographer, he does modeling shoots, advertising shoots, he even told us he has had to photo almost everything you can think of even down to this months project of photographing sockets, yes like the plug sockets, lol. He said he has been doing photography since he was 16 and has never thought of doing anything else. His work is amazing and he has shot at the places we are having so we could see how those turned out, which were great. The package starts with me at home (or in the hotel in my case) then he rushes off to meet Dave at the church, then takes his place in the church and does the usual church work, then gives us time to mingle after while taking the candid shots, then set up for the traditional shots, then travel to himley with us for more photos then to the hotel until the wedding breakfast. We decided we were going with the basic CD package to start then after we can decide to go back and order albums or prints if we want and all of this for £750 which i think is great for the quality and friendliness he would bring.

Now all i have to do is write the cheque and fill in the forms and send them off.

One thing down so many more to go.

Millies cookies

I think i have an obsession and need to go to confession, well as i don't go to confession i will just confess on here.

Ever since i had my first Millie's cookie i knew they were something else, now most of the time when i go to the shopping centre i try to avoid it as i never just get 1 or 2 i get the share box of 12!!! Which is what i did today. While the guy was wrapping them i saw they did a years supply for £35 so i asked how many that was exactly. He said for the £35 you get 12 gift cards that are worth one 12 share box, which works out to be half price, it sounded like a good deal but he made it a great deal by saying it doesn't have to be used one a month and there are no expiration date on them so i could get them all now or i could get them anytime. Well as i love them i decided to get me the years supply. (Just the years supply cards not actually get the 12 boxes that would just be greedy) So i spent a total of £40.99 on cookies today. lol. Then i walked away from the shop and thought of an amazing idea. I am going to get Millie's cookies for the wedding. at £35 for 144 cookies i think that is a great price. I was going to make my own but with getting the ingredient and making them then re-buying as i have eaten them all it would be cheaper to get these and i can put them on the candy table. MMMMMMMM.

12 share box plus my 12 gift cards in a nice little box.

our catch up

I met up with my MOH on Saturday to bring her up to date with the bits and pieces that i have decided on. She had an op on her knee last week so her daddy dropped her off and we went to the pub for lunch which was amazing i will have to go there again, but anyway lol, i think it told her about everything and she LOVES!!!!! the idea of the candy buffet. I got to meet her new boyfriend too, and i must admit he is a lot better than the last one, i don't mean the last one wasn't a nice guy but looking back now it was like he was trying to get people to like like her was trying to hard but Scott seemed like a genuine guy but its still early days so we will see.

As it is the beginning of lent i have decided to take it serious this year, last year i managed it but i only went with the chocolate as it was something i thought i could do as there would be something i could substitute it with but this year i have decided that i am giving up bread and other yeast products, i know this will be a challenge for me as i think bread is a big part of my diet like a roll with my soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, so i am going to work hard and maybe this will keep my mind on track and i can concentrate on the prayers that's are needed. I'm sure with the help of my mom i will make it.

Its what month????!!!!!!

I cant believe it is march already!!!!!! Just when the joint account is starting to look healthy money has to start coming out for deposits and buying things, i don't want to take the money out, lol. I need to wait till Thursday to see how much i am going to get paid this week as i have been working everyday since the 14th Feb and i want to know how much the tax man is going to take. I know what i am going to do, I'm going to sign on my online banking at just after midnight on Wednesday night and i should be able to see, so if you hear a funny noise it may be me, either screaming because I'm rich or calling someone all the scamming dirty asshole bitches under the sun.

Another plus point we are now the proud owners of a new (please read preloved) renault megane and i am insured to drive it too!!!! It turns out i almost halved the insurance by adding me to the policy so i think that entitles me to drive it don't you think.

Me and the MR sat down the other day and worked out prices for the wedding and how much we would have left over for extras and we decided we are going to hire suits as before we were worried we may just have to buy some cheap-ish suits but we worked it out and we should be ok, the only thing is it is the same price for 6 suits as it is for 5 (due to if you hire 5 the groom goes free) so we either need to think of another friend to wear one or get my grandad to wear one but i don't really want to ask him as he will take it as a hint and will pay for it and i don't want to sound like my sisters begging for money, its just not me, but we have time before we have to pay the deposits and sort it out so we should be ok. I also need to find more bowls and things for candies to go in as i only have the 4 vases at the moment, i like the thought of going to TKMaxx again as they had some good stuff on offer but i just cant be bothered to go all that way if they don't have anything, but then again i may be able to convince Dave to let me drive us there, we will see. Also we still don't know what to do about the photographer, when me and my mom went to the last wedding fayre we met this really nice guy who does it and he sounded really professional and all the pictures we looked at were really good with the posed ones and the candid shots but it costs £750 just for the cd package, which in our current situation could be used on something else but there isn't much of an alternative.

Im stealing again

Not physically stealing but taking peoples quizes and things from their blogs, lol, im so bad but i suppose thats how it gets round so here it is.
26 things about me
1. Age: 23
2. Blog Title Inspiration: well its about my big day in the preperation stage so whats easier than calling it my big day in preperation, lol.
3. Chore You Hate: I hate drying up the dishes, i just hate it i dont know why.
4. Day at the Beach or Cozy Rainy Day? day at the beach but not if its too hot as i burn but i love the sand and walking along the waters edge really does do something to you.
5. Essential Start Your Day Item: My slippers, before i go to the toilet or let the dog out i have to get some comfy slippers.
6. Favorite Color: Purple
7. Gold or Silver? colour wise silver but metal wise it has to be gold as silver leaves me with a rash but i dont like the yellow gold colour.
8. Height: 5'7''
9. Instruments You Play: I can play the piano, double bass, drums and i have a violin but not really that into it any more the novelty has worn off.
10.Job Title: Machine operator
11. Kids: Im working on it
12. Live: Dudley in the west midlands which is the uk for people who didnt know.
13. Mom's Name: deb
14. Book Currently on Your Nightstand: Essential guide to IVF
15. Nicknames: Aim, or ame however you spell it its still like 'aim fire'
16. Overnight Hospital Stays? I fainted once at a boat festival, they were going to let me go home but as i had hit my head they kept me in just incase. Then I was in a car accident and was in for 2 days it was my miracle as i was paralysed from the waist down when it happened and i started getting the feeling back the next day. My mom knew how serious it was when they started drawing on my feet and poking them with a pin and i didnt flinch as i have the most sensitive feet ever, nomatter how deep a sleep i was in if someone touched my feet i would wake up.
17. Pet Peeve: Right now its the pregnant girl at work being treated like she is dissabled its rediculous, sometimes i have seen her ask people to get her a piece of card.
18. Quote from a Movie: Forrest Gump: 'momma said life was like a box of chocolate, you never know what you gonna get'. So true.
19. Right or Left Handed? Right.
20. Siblings: Biologically i have 2 sisters & 2 brothers but if i go on the ones i have seen and spoken to regular (or at all) in the past 2 years then i have 1 brother.
21. Time You Wake Up? As i work a twilight shift i dont have to get up early so i get up when the dog gets up or when i wake up, unless i am going somewhere then i get my mom to wake me up.
22. Underwear: Right now comfy briefs.
23. Vegetable You Dislike: Broccoli and thats only because of the texture the little nobbles on the flurettes just seem wrong.
24. What Makes You Run Late: forgetting something like brushing my teeth or breaking a hairband and having to find another one.
25. Yummy Food You Make: Philidelphia taglitelli with parma ham, chicken breast stuffed with cheese wrapped in parma ham.
26. Zoo, Favorite Animal: Penguins.
There 26 things about me, some were pretty random but oh well it took up some time.

Another day another......wedding fayre

So, the hotel where we are having our reception held a fayre on Sunday so me and my mom went down for a look. My friends mom was there as she makes cakes and i got to see the cakes for real where i had only seen them on pictures before and i think i have pick one. I say i think i have picked one because i originally picked a different one from her which was a pile of suitcases with the bride and groom sat on the edge, but then i thought i wanted something taller so this is the one i am more than likely going to have.

We are thinking of having the tiers with the wiggly piping on to be lilac cake with white piping then maybe the plain ones just plain white, with purple decorations.

The best part is she is advertising this cake for people at £300 but as i am friends with her daughter since school she is going to let me have one for £200.....ding ding ding we have a winner lol. I know i may sound cheap sometimes but in our situation the more money we can save the better so by saving £100 on a cake is great. (My mom is paying for the cake but she said she was budgeting £350-£400 so i could have the extra!!!)

Then we saw something that would be so awesome to hire as a surprise for Dave, Random and Dave's, dad and here it is.

A replica A-Team van. It has lights and a TV inside and was actually quite comfortable. This was £190 for the hour then i think he said £40 each hour after that, but i thought they only really need it for the hour to get them to church. My brother was going to go in it but he is boring and said he wasn't going in it so that's fine by me.

While we were at the hotel i asked the coordinator about a few things, like the projector and we could use that for free as long as we sort out the laptop and slide show ourselves, There is no limitation on decorations as long as it doesn't require a permanent fixture and the menu has changed slightly. We now have a selection of food we would like to have instead of a set menu.

Soup.

Home-made Vegetable soup

finished with fresh cream and chopped herbs

Tomato, roasted red pepper and basil soup

sprinkled with green pesto croutons

Carrot and coriander soup

flavoured with a hint of orange

Roasted wild mushroom and tarragon soup

laced with cream

Leek and Potato soup

topped with croutons and snipped chives

Minestrone soup

with Parmesan croutons.

I am thinking either the vegetable, the leek and potato or the minestrone soup.

Main course.

Slow roasted belly of pork stuffed with apricot and sage stuffing

with cider gravy, honeyed parsnips, thyme carrots and roast potatoes

Japanese breaded turkey escalope

on slow roasted tomato and basil confit with a medley of roasted vegetables and potatoes

Chicken chasseur

a chicken breast smothered with a mushroom and white wine sauce

Seared Tuna

served with lemon and Parmesan spaghetti

or what we were offered before which was

turkey roast dinner.

I am still undecided if we will just stick with the turkey roast or go for something different but i know it wont be the chicken chasseur or the tuna.

Desserts.

Profiteroles

filled with vanilla cream and topped with chocolate sauce

strawberry cheesecake

with fresh cream

tropical fruit salad

or she also said if it was a chocolate fudge cake and ice cream we could have that because its not going to cost any more than the others to get.

Evening buffet.

I think we get a selection of 6 from the following,

Selection of filled sub rolls

Rosemary and lemon chicken drumsticks

Selection of assorted quiche slices

Puff pastry sausage rolls

Potato wedges

served with sour cream and chive dip

White fish goujons

served with tartare sauce

Vegetable spring rolls

with sweet chilli dip

Cheese and tomato pizza slices

Selection of Indian appetisers

with masala dip

Mini sausages wrapped in bacon 

Breaded button mushrooms

with garlic mayonnaise dip

Crudities with a selection of dips

Tempura battered prawns

Out of these i will probably go with the, selection of filled sub rolls, Selection of assorted quiche slices, Puff pastry sausage rolls, Potato wedges, Mini sausages wrapped in bacon, crudities with dip and if i am able to i will add on the pizza slices. I am not really that bothered about having a lot to eat at that point in the day as i will be having my candy buffet which i asked about and she said it was OK to have that with chocolates, sweets cookies etc as long as its not anything that they could provide so i am have the all clear for that. I am going to bake some shortbread heart cookies and hopefully have them half dipped in dyed purple white chocolate and some plain with chocolate chips, then i found this article in the magazine for valentines day cookies that looked lie a cookie version of a jam tart but in a heart shape and they looked great so i will be testing these out.

I am still at a loss what i am going to do about the photographer. My mom is planning on having one of the new Olympus pen camera (or a better one if one comes out by then), And she said my brother could do the pictures but i might not get the quality of a professional and I'm never going to have a picture with everyone in them, but when we looked for  photographer at the fayre they were charging so much money that its just not worth it. I don't think paying £1000 for a photographer to capture my day up to the reception and only have the photos on a disc and a small album is great value, i would like someone who is very budget conscious, where they know that they may not have different effects on them but that can be done by my brother or Dave who has experience with photo shop. I know i have to figure something out soon as they may be booked up is i wait but i still don't know what to do. We have Random who has a professional video camera which will be used by his brother probably for the church and around the rest of the day so that part is ok but i cant keep asking our friends to do everything for free.

My first work outing!!!

I have been working at the same place for the last 4 years and this is the first time they have invited everyone out to a function, we went to the dogs, i had never been before so i was panicing about what to wear, but it was ok as the owners had put in place a dress code of no trainers and casual jeans so i thought that was the go ahead to dress up. For the past month i went out trying to find just the right thing to wear, as i was losing weight i tried skinny jeans and they fitted but then i lost a bit more weight and ended up in between sizes so they looked bad so i went on the look for something else, a dress maybe. I am not one for wearing dresses when i am around a lot of people as i feel i am being judged all the time but on the day of going out i found the hottest dress ever from dorothy perkins and after trying it on i knew it was the one, i knew it was highly unlikely that i would lose/gain that much weight in a matter of 5 hours that it wouldn't fit. So i went to the checkout and got the shock of my life, the dress was reduced to just £15!!!!!!! It really was my lucky day. so i got home hung up the dress so there were no creases and painted my nails, and curled my hair which took me little over an hour as i had to run up the road to tesco as i forgot to pick up some hairspray while in town.

We had  VIP booth, free betting, open bar (hell yes), food and a whole lotta fun.

(just to get an idea of how much this must have cost in total, there were around 65 of us and we ran up a bar tab of just under £3000!!!! yes that was 3 thousand pounds. But like the owners said in a time when a lot of companies have had to close they were blessed enough to be swamped with work and in a position to let up drink and bet without putting our own hand in our own pockets so we were so grateful for their generosity)

All i can say is the dress along with some killer heels and a little hint of cleavage (maybe a little more than a hint lol) and my night was amazing, i will let the pictures do the talking....

Me and Rory

Me and Rory being rude, lol.

Janet, June, Me, Hayley, Mehmet and Jane.

Janet, June and Jane.

Julain, Stuart (one of the my glendennings - the owners) and Susan.

Janet, June, Jane, Mick, Hayley and Steph.

Nick

Paul and Ian.

Ian (with his naughty grin) and Me

Waqar

Me and Waqar

Mick and one of the receptionists.

Mick and Me

Me, Oscar (stuarts son and his designated driver) People off day shift who i don't quite know their names lol.

Day shift guy, Glen, Mick, Kim, me and Miles (the other owner and another glendenning)

Laura, Rory and Me

Laura and me

Rory and me, (he was very dunk and kept asking for pictures lol)

Me and Hayley mid grope while stuart glendenning took the picture, lol.

Rory and Hayley

Stuart and Hayley

Waqar, Hayley and Asif

Waqar and Hayley

Asif and Hayley

Hayley, Waqar, Me, Asif and My mom

Waqar, Me and Asif

Waqar and Glen

Me and Nice Ewa

The coach ride home.

Me and Hayley

I think it was a very good night all round apart from one of the older ladies being sick on the coach which was a little bit rank but i got some good feedback yesterday at work. And a few whistles lol.

My 2010

I have just caught up with all the amazing blogs i read and there were 97 posts, it took a while. I love to read this blog which is one of the only uk wedding blogs i could find, today i read that she had read a list of questions all about their experiences in 2010 and so i decided to steal it too, thanks lou i also voted for you too by the way if you are reading this.


1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?


In 2010 i took fertility drugs, they didnt work but i tried.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I decided in 2009 i wasnt going to make a resolution for 2010 and just go with whatever happens but for this year i decided i was going to make the most common one which is to lose weight which i have to do to be able to qualify for IVF so i think this one will be kept even if it does take a bit longer than i would like.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope, nobody i now that i am that close to did in 2010 which was a good thing as i was going through a bad year and would have probably flipped if they had.
4. Did anyone close to you die?

I wasnt that close to her but an awesome lady at work called glenis died just before the new year, early last year a girl bought in wine for her birthday and glenis had a few and we thought she had a lot more than that as she was very slurry and couldnt focus properly but she was joking about as eveyone thought she had just had one too many, on the monday she didnt come in to work, a few days later we heard she might have had a stroke, turns out she had 3 brain tumors. Her funeral was January and it was so beautiful.
5. What countries did you visit?

I didnt visit anywhere last year, I decided that i was going to pay off my debt as soon as i could so i didnt take a holiday.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

A baby would be nice.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

3rd September because this was when i went to pick up my puppy mimi she was so small.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I know it isnt really an achievement for some but i managed to swallow pills which is something i have never been able to do.
9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being able to put myself in a good enough shape to beable to get pregnant
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just my PCOS and infertility
11. What was the best thing you bought?

My wedding dress at a saving of over £700!!!!!!! And my dog..
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Dave for standing by me through all of this infertility and having tests done.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

i cant think of anyone right now.
14. Where did most of your money go?

Paying off my debt and buying wedding stuff.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I got so excited about being debt free, i know that may not sound so exciting to some people but to be debt free for me is so surreal as i have been in debt since college.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Bruno Mars - Billionaire
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) happier or sadder? Happier

(b) thinner or fatter? Thinner

(c) richer or poorer? Richer



18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Gone out on day trips and out for drinks or lunch with friends.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eat!!!!
20. How did you spend Christmas?

With the family playing games and eating....a lot...
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Yes i did....with Mimi
22. What was your favourite TV programme?

I am so into Disney channel so sonny with a chance and also four weddings.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Ewa!!!!!!
24. What was your greatest musical discovey?

I have to agree with lou on this one it has to be Glee
25. What did you want and get?

I wanted to get my wedding dress and i got it at an awesome price too.
26. What did you want and not get?

A baby.
27. What was your favourite film of this year?

Harry potter, cant wait for part 2
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 23 and i went to go ape for my birthday.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

The fertility drugs to have worked so that i dont have to go through major treatment.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Plain, i dont remember much else than jeans and tops, other then shoes i remember lots of shoes lol
31. What kept you sane?

Knowing that i am going to have to start growing up if i am to go though such treatments so i had to work on who i am and what i really want.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Johnny Depp it is, has and always will be, he is just so munchable, lol.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?

That they were thinking of axing all government funded fertility treatment, but will still treat smokers, drinkers and fatties.
34. Who did you miss?

Dunno
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010?

you really cant judge a book by its cover, just because someone looks fit and healthy that in reality they may not be and not everyone who has fertility treatment are older ladies who decided to have a career first, it can happen to young seemingly healthy couples.

Beter late than never..

I was meant to post this last night but i never got round to do it as i had to stop the dog from barking every 2 seconds because the wind was making noises so here it is.

As i said yesterday i picked up some great bargains from TKMaxx yesterday and just had to show you what i got, I plan on using these as the main parts of my candy buffet, i will also be getting some other vases, jars and bowls from Ikea when i can but these were just such a great deal i couldn't not get them.



Please excuse the holes in the wall i tried to hang shelves but the wall plugs were just not playing along.

 I am thinking if i can get about 12 different ones then fill them with different things it would look good, i might even place boxes under the table clothe so we have to variation in height but that is something i will sort out in a long time.

Don't you just love the shoes too, these are just one of my new pairs. I went searching Ikea the one day for a suitable shoe cupboard which didn't take up too much room but could hold a reasonable amount of shoes as i have a lot, lol. Well we have been invited to go to the dogs with the work next week and i think i have bought myself 4 new outfits and 2 new pairs of shoes, lol. Yes just for the one night, i am not very confidant in what i wear, i am always thinking people are judging me so i thought if i had a few to choose from then i might feel a bit more comfortable. My last buy was SKINNY jeans, i have never worn skinny jeans before, but i have lost weight and with heels it doesn't look too bad, i just need to find a top that isn't too tight to wear with it so that i don't look like a dodgy sandy from grease wannabe lol.

quick one

Me and my mom were shopping today and in TKMax we found some awesone vases that we could use for the candy buffet so i picked out 4 in different sizes and styles thinking it was going to cost a bomb but they didnt i got all 4 for just under £22!!!!! I will post pictures later and a little bit about our problem we had yeterday tonight when i finish work but i was just so excited i needed to blog.

We have contact

No not with aliens....with Amy....

She text me yesterday as the last message i sent her was saying i am thinking of going to go ape and did she and Chris want to come with, well she text me saying she was up for going but it would just be her as they broke up. She said they had grown apart and just were not getting on, so i decided that we should make it a girls day so she is texting Deb to see if the wants to come with us, it should be fun as the last time i went i didn't realise just how good it was going to be. It was tiring on the arms at parts but i loved is so i wanted to go again, and when i said to Amy before that we should go she said it would be awesome so we will take loads of pictures, we are not going till April though it might be warmer then lol.

Stressed much??

After the week i have had i was hoping for a little bit of non stress time, even just a few days, but nope, work hasn't been too stressful just the usual drama over the fact that i have been allowed to do a higher roll for a few days while June isn't there (June sorts out break times and checks on everyone when we go in) when its normally another girl called Ewa that does it. No where in our contract does it say that just because you have stood in for someone before that you have a free pass to do it all the time, i just asked if i could do it on Fridays as it is overtime and June doesn't do overtime, i never said that i am doing it just so Ewa cant do it. She came in on Friday dressed up like to say i am boss i don't have to dress like you as i am doing Junes job, but then she found out she wasn't and i was. She had a face like thunder and gave me some proper attitude too (i am 23 she is like 30 so she should be a little bit more grown up than me. I also had to do this job again on Wednesday as June was not in again. I was told yesterday that i got a lot of good feedback about how good i did and people liked what i did and did i want to do it again on Friday, i just said if they want me to i will but if they had someone else in mind i didn't mind, which i don't, i go there knowing i have to do a job which ever job that is i am still there for 5 and half hours so we will see what i am doing today.

On top of work i still haven't heard from my MOH, i haven't seen her since September, i have messaged her loads of times and on facebook too but have heard nothing, it hasn't all been about weddings either i asked her if she and her boyfriend was up for go ape around Easter time but didn't hear anything. It really is starting to upset me a little because she was really excited and i had allowed her to be escorted by her own boyfriend. I wasn't making her buy her own dress or his suit i was getting it all so i don't understand. i have already started getting a few things like shoes and so if she doesn't get in touch i have a pair of shoes but no MOH. I don't think it is just a matter of picking someone else to do the job. I drifted away from a lot of my friends when i left school and being just one of 6 in our college class i am not ashamed to say i don't have many friends, but i don't have anyone really who can stand in for her, not just as my MOH but someone i can talk to about my fertility situation, she knew about the infertility and asked me to keep her updated but i have tried since finding out we will have to go for IVF but she hasn't got back to me so she doesn't know that and so she doesn't know we also god rejected either. I really don't know what to do. The wedding is already going to be more male dominant anyway by there being the groom, best man, my dad, my brother, my FFIL and my MOH's boyfriend if she comes compared to there being me, my brothers girlfriend and then my MOH if i had one, and even though my mom is my best friend she isn't one to want to be seen so she wouldn't really be counted as one of my ladies.

For someone who should be making their life as stress free as possible I'm not doing a very good job of it.

Not wedding related but i needed to share

I got a phone call on Thursday from my GP saying they had a letter from the primary care trust saying we had been refused funding at this time for IVF because of my weight (i am still a few lbs over the criteria), I really don't know how to take it, i know i did slack off the diet over Christmas but who doesn't??? Am i really that bad that by being a few lbs over i am going to seriously harm any future children?? And if they are choosing if i can have treatment if i am too fat or not surely they should not allow other large ladies to have babies the natural way. Take for instance my SIL (my older brothers girth friend as i like to call her) This is no exaggeration but she must be at the least 24stone, She has managed to have 4 babies, she does nothing while my brother goes out to work and then when he comes back he cooks the dinner and cleans and more or less does everything, when i used to go to their house she would call him from another room to say she needed something when it was not too far from her. She was allowed to have her babies and i am at more then 10 stone less than her, yes i am more than one whole person smaller then her but i am categorised as being too big. It really does break my heart. I know i am only 23 and i know i am not married but neither of us have children, neither of us smoke, neither of us drink (only on the odd occasion like a party) and we have been trying for more than 3 and a half years. So i am trying so much harder with the weight watchers for the next few weeks then i have to go back to the doctors to be weighed again to make sure i am under a BMI of 30 then we can fill in the paperwork again. The paperwork took almost 2 months to get a decision so if i lose enough weight and fill in the forms by the end of February, we should get another answer by April. Here is hoping.

candy buffet

I have been looking through a few wedding forums and there seem to be a lot of good feed back from candy buffets, i did want one but never knew if they would be popular or even if people would take any but after seeing that everyone had had success we have decided we are going to have one. We love sweets, all kinds and so does most of our families, and come on who doesn't like sweets, we will have soft sweets like harribo and other jellies but also bonbons, pear drops and mints. I am still looking to see what jars or bowls we are going to use but most people have had a variety so we will have a look at charity shops and ikea to see what we can get.

We also need to come up with a little poem to put on the table so here is a few little ideas, we may not use any of this and steal someone Else's but you never know.

Love is sweet,

Love is grand.

Welcome to our candy stand.

On a table,

Or a cart,

Check the tags to tell them apart.

Some for the old,

Some for the young.

Mix up the bag and you cant go wrong.

Take them all home,

Or eat them right here.

Watch out for the sour ones, 

You may shed a tear.

Think of others,

We like to share,

Why not have a candy bear.

Now you've had your candy treat,

Get up on your dancing feet.

Wow that worked out better than i thought, We just have to make sure we get candy bears now. lol. Here is my list of sweets that i would like:



Parma Violets




Bonbons (different flavours)




Giant Strawberries




Gummy Bears



Sour Cherries



Pear Drops




Millions (different flavours)




Love Hearts (maybe personalised ones)




Gummy rings




Lolly pops


MMMMMM i feel like eating sweeties now lol.